


the thrill of secret keeping

by darkesthorizon



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst does not exist, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, That's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 02:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkesthorizon/pseuds/darkesthorizon
Summary: Simon and Jeremy have been dating for months. What happens when they finally decide to open up?





	the thrill of secret keeping

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a prompt but it turned into something else entirely but this is what resulted so enjoy!

Simon was new to this. 

Sure, he’d been dating Jeremy for months, but it was all still new. Simon wasn’t out to anyone except his mother, his sister and, of course, Jeremy. He hadn’t even told Lilette, and she had been his best friend for their whole lives. 

He was going to tell her… eventually. Probably. He hadn’t figured out why he was so reluctant. Hell, he was half sure she already knew. Whatever. 

Musical season was over, and there wouldn’t be any more shows until next school year, so Simon had plenty of time to visit the Travers’ household after school. 

That’s where he ended up most days. He wasn’t comfortable staying at home all the time, not with the looks his father gave him, not where he couldn’t be himself. He had tried to act normal for a few weeks after Spring Awakening, but his father refused to listen to Simon’s attempts to reason with him. So, he gave up. 

From the very first time Jeremy had invited him over for a ‘study session’, he felt better. Jeremy’s house was much more of a home than his own, and he never wanted to leave. 

His mother knew where he was. She knew about everything going on with Simon, and she knew that being away from home was the best option for him. In fact, she encouraged it. 

Jeremy had started driving Simon back to his house after school once he’d realized Simon wasn’t going home. 

Today was Friday, and they’d just pulled into Jeremy’s driveway. 

Simon tossed his bag over his shoulder as he stepped out of the car. “Is your dad home?”

Jeremy shrugged and started walking up the front steps. “No, he’s working late. My brother might be, though.”

Simon hummed in response. 

Jeremy turned back to where Simon still stood. “Are you alright, Simon?”

He shrugged, “Yeah- I just- I need to talk to you about something. I need… advice.”

“About what?”

“I’d rather we talk inside, actually.”

“Oh, of course.” Jeremy led Simon to his room and sat down, patting the bed next to him. “What was it?”

Simon sat and immediately began fiddling with his fingers, “Well, uh… I was thinking about- Well, I was considering telling Lilette.”

Jeremy’s face softened; he knew what Simon meant, but he wanted him to be comfortable saying it, so he pushed gently, “About…?”

Simon’s face flushed and his words came out muddled, “About us. Well, mostly about me. You know. How I’m…gay.”

Jeremy took Simon’s hand in his own. “I think you should do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Okay. Okay, I’m gonna do it Monday.” The troupe was chilling in the green room after school, he would see her then. It would be perfect.

“Do you want me to be there with you.”

Simon hesitated, then squeezed Jeremy’s hand. “No. I think I have to do this on my own.”

“Okay.” He figured Simon wouldn’t want any more questions after that. “Now, c’mere, I’m cuddling you.”

Simon laughed but willingly obliged, tucking himself against Jeremy’s chest and squishing his nose in the process. Jeremy carefully threaded his fingers through Simon’s fluffy hair and pressed little kisses all over his forehead. Simon sighed contently and turned his face to Jeremy’s.

“I wish we could lay here forever. Forget about stupid people and their stupid opinions.”

Jeremy chuckled, “If only.”

“Just kiss me.” Simon mumbled.

Jeremy did. It was soft and sleepy and normal, but he still loved it. He loved every chance he got to kiss Simon Saunders.

“You know, you can kiss me whenever you want. You don’t always have to wait for me to do it.”

Simon huffed a little, “Feels weird.”

“We’re dating, Simon.”

“Still.”

Jeremy just smiled, because he didn’t care. “I love you.”

Simon lifted his head up so that he was looking Jeremy dead in the eyes. He’d never said that before. Simon blinked. “I love you too, Jeremy.” He whispered. He meant it. 

Jeremy just grinned even wider and grabbed Simon’s face to kiss him again. 

They stayed like that, huddled together on Jeremy’s bed, for a while, probably too long. They fell asleep and missed Jeremy’s dad arriving and knocking lightly on the door to say hello, then leaving because he didn’t want to disturb them. Jeremy’s dad already knew they were together, as Jeremy had gushed about Simon from the first moment he had seen him. 

It was good to know they were happy. 

Simon ended up staying over that night after they both woke up and realized how late it had become. The sun had long since gone down and neither of them had the energy (or willingness) to get up. Simon sent a text to his mother letting her know he wouldn’t be coming home, then rolled himself under the warm blankets, where he fell asleep with his head on Jeremy’s chest. 

 

When the sun rose in the morning, the two boys were woken by a knock. The door opened without an answer. 

Jeremy’s head shot up like a startled deer, “What the- Dylan, get out.”

Jeremy’s brother was standing in the doorway, a stupid grin on his face. “Breakfast is ready.”

Simon rubbed his eyes, saw Dylan, and immediately pulled the covers back over his head. 

Dylan wasn’t blind, “Hey, Simon.”

Simon slowly returned the covers to their starting position, “Hi.” 

Jeremy was sitting up at this point, disgruntled. “Did you really need to barge in here just to announce that?”

“No.”

“Then please exit.”

“I get it, I get it.” Dylan held up his hands in feign surrender, “You want some alone time.”

Jeremy threw a pillow at his head. 

Dylan left after that.

Simon was finally awake enough to comprehend what was happening, “That was interesting.” He said flatly.

“He’s like that.”

Simon sighed.

“Are you still thinking about Monday?” Jeremy inquired. 

 

“It’s hard not to.” Simon pressed his fingers to his temple, “I still don’t know if I should go through with it.”

“I think you’re trying to talk yourself out of it.”

“Maybe.”

“You know she’s going to be perfectly fine with it, right?”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder, letting his thumb slide back and forth. “You have nothing to worry about. I know it’s scary, it’s going to be. It’ll get easier with time. I promise.”

“I know, I just- was it this hard for you? The first time you came out?”

Jeremy’s eyes flickered away from Simon’s for a brief second. “It was terrifying, actually.”

“That's reassuring.”

Jeremy could see right through him. “You're not alone, Simon.” 

Simon sighed. “I wish I felt like I wasn't. It just feels like everything in my life could unravel if I make one wrong move.”

Jeremy pulled Simon into a hug. “You've always got a place here, you know that, right? I would never leave you like that. I've got you.”

“Thank you.” Simon sniffled and buried his face into Jeremy's neck. He managed to collect himself, and pulled away slightly. “I'm gonna kiss you now.”

Jeremy just smiled. “Please do.” 

Simon returned the fond expression before pressing his lips to Jeremy's until they both fell backwards onto the mattress. Simon resolved right then to start kissing Jeremy more often. What harm could it do?

 

By the time Monday rolled around, Simon was in full panic mode. He'd spent practically the entire weekend at Jeremy's, and he was pretty sure that was the only reason he was remotely stable enough to face Lilette. 

Once his final class ended, Simon hid himself in a corner of the greenroom, away from where the rest of the troupe was gathered, so he could call down. He heard footsteps come around the corner and assumed it was Jeremy. 

It wasn't.

Lilette poked her head into the room, “Simon? Oh my gosh, Simon, are you okay?”

Simon couldn't breathe. “I need to… I… uh.”

“It's okay, Simon. You can talk to me.”

“L- Lilette?”

“Yeah.”

“I- I’m-” His mouth wouldn't form the word. His voice wavered, then faltered.

Lilette took his shaking hands delicately. “Breathe, Simon. You can do it.”

“I'm- I'm gay.” He finally said the words. He did it. His breathing was still abnormally ragged and his knees felt like they were going to give out, but he had done it.

Lilette immediately wrapped her arms around his torso. “I'm so proud of you.”

Simon's voice was more of a whisper than anything else at this point, “You knew, didn't you.” It wasn't a question.”

“I had my suspicions. Especially after the whole situation with Anabelle, I knew something was up with you. Plus, there's the way you and Jeremy look at each other.”

Simon choked on air, “We don’t- Me and Jeremy don't look at each other. Do we?”

“You do.”

“Oh.”

“Are you two…?” She trailed off.

Simon sighed. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. “Yeah, uh, we are.” 

“Good for you! You guys were bound to get together at some point. I knew it. Showmances are classic!”

Simon glanced over to the rest of the troupe, “Keep it down, please. No one knows yet. I'd like it to stay that way for awhile. I'm not- I'm not ready for that right now.”

Lilette’s face shifts into a more concerned one, “Of course, Simon. It's all at your pace. Take your time.” She mimed zipping her lips closed and throwing away the key.

“Thank you.” Simon hugged her one last time before they rejoined the troupe. 

He noticed Anabelle watching him a little more closely than usual. After the whole situation with them, she'd pretty much avoided him. It's not as if she hated him, but he couldn't blame her for not wanting to face him again. He'd left her hanging without an explanation, and he still felt horrible about it. Of course, he hadn't been anywhere near ready to explain then, and he still wasn't quite there now. One day he was going to make it up to her, when he was ready.

 

Turns out that day was going to be sooner than he expected. He and Jeremy were hiding in the very back of the auditorium, where they couldn't be seen. It was late, and they both assumed that most of the troupe had gone home. It was quiet, save for the hum of the single spotlight that remained on. 

Jeremy was kissing him. Simon was used to this by now, the kissing whenever people weren't looking. It was thrilling sometimes, and terrifying other times. But it was always great. How could it not? Simon Saunders was kissing Jeremy Travers and everything felt right in that moment.

Until they heard footsteps. They broke apart just as the lights flooded the room. There stood Anabelle, hand hovering over the light switch, eyes wide in surprise. She didn't look mad, she looked confused, maybe, and a little relieved.

Simon suddenly became very aware of how close he was to Jeremy. His arms were wrapped around his neck, and Jeremy's hands were on his waist. They were inches apart. He pulled his hands as far away as possible. There was no explaining this, he thought.

They all stood staring at each other until Anabelle finally spoke, “This makes a whole lot more sense than I thought it would.”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, “I, um, we were just-"

“No, no, no. Don't give me that crap, I know exactly what's going on. I get it now. I really do. This is so much better than what I thought. I thought you couldn't stand me, oh my god.”

Simon just sat there, basically in Jeremy's lap, mouth gaping, blinking rapidly.

Jeremy shifted awkwardly, “Should I leave?”

Anabelle turned to him so fast Simon almost didn't see it, “Oh no, mister, I need to have a word with you. You are my friend! Why did you not tell me about you two?!”

Simon finally figure out how to make words, “I- I asked him not to.”

Anabelle crossed her arms, “Whatever, I guess I get it. Oh, look at that, it's late. I'm going home. You guys should leave before a custodian walks in here. Now that would be interesting.”

“Right.”

Anabelle flipped the light switch back into the off position and disappeared. Her voice faded as she walked out the door. She must've seen the look of concern on Simon's face before she was completely out of range, though, because she paused, “Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about you guys. I’m not that kind of person. See you guys tomorrow!”

The boys listened to her footsteps fade into nothing before looking at each other, then bursting into laughter.

Simon spoke first, “So, she's not mad at me.”

Jeremy scoffed, “She seemed thrilled.”

“That could've been a catastrophe.”

“But it wasn't.”

“You're right.”

Jeremy kissed Simon one final time before rising from his seat. “We really should go.”

Simon nodded in agreement, “Yeah. One last thing.”

“Go for it.”

“No more kissing in the back of the auditorium.” He shivered, and not from the cold. “That was… quite the mood killer.”

Jeremy laughed, “Deal.”


End file.
